Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
