I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
