i don't like sucking hair
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
