A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
