Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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