Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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