THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
it's like iHOP with fire
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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