Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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