I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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