I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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