I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
