Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
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