Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
