i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
