Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
