all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
