how can u be prego again
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Dear god my vagina.
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