I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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