their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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