if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
this hospital has no fireball
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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