he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
