You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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