I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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