I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize