When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
