He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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