Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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