what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
