omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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