We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
