just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
