I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
