you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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