Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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