Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
