You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
