I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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