Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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