So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
