i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
