im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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