My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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