yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize