yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
