Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
