And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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