I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
