i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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