I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
