I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
