So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
