Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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