just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
