they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
