I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
