just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
