i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize