he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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