glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
