Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize