and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
