It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
