i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
