Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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