hotel room ftw
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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