i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
